Teaching and drinking my way through my twenties.

I’ve always been a very driven person. I set goals and I achieve them. Letting myself down, or anyone for that matter, is one of my greatest fears. It all started in high school when I realized I hadn’t applied to any colleges, yet my parents were expecting acceptance letters. It’s not that I didn’t want to go to college, it’s that I had no idea what I was doing. I applied to three colleges and I got accepted to three colleges. No big deal. I chose one and went there. Go to college – Goal Accomplished.

Well, I was there, on scholarship, and not doing awesome in classes or personally. I still had no idea what I was doing. 

Not even a year in and I am calling my mom in tears because at this rate, I won’t keep my scholarship or graduate in four years. I let myself down and I thought I let my family down. Panic set in. I am going to be a failure. I set my own fate. In that moment, I had given up.

After a good long hour of tears, I decided that I was not going to be a failure and not moving home. I had taught dance classes and I was always pretty good at writing, so my mom suggested I try out English Teaching. I went to one class and knew this was the mojor for me.

Fast Forward – April 2015.

I had just learned I had qualified for graduation (thanks to my science and math classes I didn’t really know if graduating in four was a possibility) and I was panicking about adult life. I kept asking myself: How do I get a job? Will I ever get a job? How do I adult? Wait, do I still have health insurance? So basically, I still had no idea what I was doing.

I was too afraid to ask anyone how to apply for jobs because what if I was the only one who didn’t know how to job search? So, I went to the Boise School District website and clicked around until I found job applications. I think that’s called street smarts? I don’t know. I’m not even 100% sure I actually filled out a job application there, but I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. On April 28, 2015, one month before my graduation, I was offered my dream job. I accepted a job teaching 8th Grade English Language Arts in a smallish town outside of Boise, Idaho. I was so proud to say that had been offered a job before I graduated. My parents were so proud that their daughter had both graduated college and accepted a job offer. I was over the moon. I did it! I didn’t let them down. I didn’t let myself down! *Phew*

I was so naive. So SO naive

I forgot that getting the job was 1 millionth of the struggle of being a teacher. I nearly, and maybe deservingly, almost lost my job the third week of school. Talk about letting people down. My students. My bosses. My family. Myself.

So, that’s where this blog comes in.

I’m here to help new teachers or returning teachers beat the odds. I’m here to talk about becoming a confident and independent teacher. It’s not an easy process. It’s incredibly scary. I was given the gift of a second chance at the amazing school I work at and I am not going to mess it up. This is my journey to becoming the teacher I dream of being. One step at a time. 

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